There is a word the defines the emotion of realizing that everyone in the world has a complex life just like one’s own. It is sonder. But, having this same awakening feeling but in relation to your own mum is a strange one. I remember when I first understood my mother is just as human as I am. It’s different to the day you find out your mum’s real name isn’t actually mum; I remember that day too and being boggled as a kid.
The day I realised my mum was human was on my 13th birthday and mum was upset about a personal, family occurrence. I remember being confused. Like, my mum is a superhuman, she helps me when I’m upset, lonely or angry, she can’t be having these feelings herself. She is too old and wise. Better yet, how could I, this only a 12-year-old kid literally just yesterday, help her through these feelings, like she helps me?
I didn’t need to help her that day, I was just a child, but I remember from that moment forward, I realized my mum is more than just a mother.
She was once just a girl who played with makeup and hair accessories, bickered with her brother, buzzed with excitement on Christmas Eve, tried new hobbies, and danced and dreamed of being a ballerina when she grew up.
She was just a girl, just like me, that had friendship problems, self-image problems and boyfriend problems. She sucked in her tummy in photos and did everything she could to get rid of her stretch marks. She worried what people thought of her and found herself as she grew older.
She was just a girl that travelled the world, and had scares regarding moving away from home, money, relationships, pregnancies, and marriage.
She was just a woman that was nervous to have daughters of her own and panicked about putting her career on hold.
She is just a woman that worries about grey hairs and turning into her own mother. She is just a woman that sometimes feels lonely and contemplative and needs her own mother or best friend to talk to.
My mum and I have always had stuff in common, but I have realized since my 13th birthday, we have more in common than I think. She is just a girl that is going through or has gone through the same things I have. My mum is just a girl growing up too. This is her first time on this earth as well and she is navigating it just as lost as I am.
She wants just as many successes for herself, for me, for my sister and for women as a whole, just like I do. She cries at the same heartbreaking stories as I do and also cries at the same joyful stories as I do. She is human.
Though through all these realisations, one thought from my 13th birthday remains the same. My mum is superhuman, just like yours probably is too. She tackles all these emotions and life challenges whilst patiently listening to mine too.
This Mother’s Day, hold your mum or your motherly figure a little tighter, a little longer. She was just a girl that had the same fears as you and may have the same number of scars or even more. Hug that younger girl that may still be deep within your mum, to let her know, she did a great job.
Comments