I recently wrote about how friendships can be classed into three types of categories. Season, reason or a lifetime. Writing that article (that you can most definitely go read, if you haven’t already ;)) got me thinking about my platonic, male, female friendships as my guy friend and I recently had a realisation.
Both of us are single as fuck (that is for dramatic purposes. Ladies, he pulls so hard, he is so handsome and funny and is making me write this bracketed section…). Anyways, both our single minds were dreaming about our next relationships, mostly questioning why the love of our lives haven’t come yet, and each of us coming up with many banter insults that explain the exact reason why we are both single, but also discussing what would happen to our friendship if either of us got a partner.
My friend dolefully yet truthfully, stated to me that, when either of us get a partner, our friendship will not be the same. Obviously, each of us hope our future partner would get along with our friend, but that doesn’t mean our friendship couldn’t change, or even worse not last.
He put it into perspective for me very cleverly and clearly. He said, “Ruby, if your boyfriend was hanging out with his girl friend (obvious space between the two words), although you would hopefully trust him, you wouldn’t appreciate them hanging out, just them for 5 consecutive hours at the beach or on a road trip, like we do for fun.”
I was so heartbroken to hear this. I felt like I was breaking up with my guy friend that I never even dated! And this made me question, do all platonic male, female friendships only last a season? That season being, single season?
To be very truthfully honest, I don’t know the answer because we are both STILL very single… BUT I will share the wise words of resolution to this conversation that both our smart brains (mostly his) came up with.
Even if we are a season friendship, we need to value our time together and not let this stop us from hanging out. I adore spending time with him, and he tells me he gets paid to hang out with me, which I’m sure is his way of saying he loves hanging out with me too… In the future I hope he likes my future boyfriend, just like he hopes I’ll like his future girlfriend and look, we may even all be able to hangout? To know the answer, we would actually be required to get partners…
But my point is, we don’t know if we are just a season friendship and that’s fine because for now, we like hanging out with each other and that’s all that matters.
I feel like this just made me, and my friend seem very sad and lonely, but we have each other so it’s fine.
That’s my ramble.
Ruby x
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